I was born in a small city in northern Italy,
near Milan. My childhood developed in the womb of
a Catholic family and I had a good religious education.
I loved the activities that the parish organized and
always participated with great interest. On various occasions I
heard about a vocation to the religious or consecrated life,
but I saw it as something very far off.
when I was between 18 and 20 years old, I
went to visit a monastery of St. Clare nuns with
the teams of my parish. I remember perfectly the
testimony of one very young nun who told us her
vocation story. She had beautiful blue eyes, full of
light; and her serene and happy voice concluded her testimony
with these exact words: "The vocation is the greatest desire
that we have in our heart."
After this day my existential
questions began to be more intense: What is my vocation?
What is my desire? Nun? Mother? What really frightened me
was this "new" perspective of life that I never had
considered, that of a life consecrated to God.
I went to
the chapel and spoke with God with a lot of
simplicity. I knew that he couldn´t ask me what
I couldn´t give. The only thing that was certain
was this: I couldn´t be far from him. I
had to resolve this doubt as soon as possible.
I knelt down in front of the tabernacle asking him
to explain to me clearly. He told me, "Nun!
Nun!" But I didn´t like that! I explained
that I couldn´t wear a skirt nor a veil and
that I preferred to get married and be a mother.
that this was the true desire of my life, I
asked for a truce. I didn´t want to confront
reality. I wanted to live as if none of
this had happened. But my conscience wouldn´t leave me
in peace; each time I listened to or read the
passage about the rich young man of the Gospel, this
idea began to replant itself again in my life.
It came to a moment that I couldn´t listen to
the songs at Mass, the words bothered me and everything
spoke to me about vocation: "You, come and follow me".
I went again and again in front of the
tabernacle to try to explain to God why I didn´t
want this vocation, but my explanation not only didn´t convince
him, it didn´t convince me either.
The years passed. It
was then that doubt came up in my life again.
My life had changed: I had finished my studies,
I had a car, I had gone out with a
few boyfriends, many friends and a life like the majority
of young people. I was very committed in my
parish and in many other activities, but they didn´t fill
me. I was always searching for more and more.
What was I looking for? I didn´t know.
I knew that the only thing certain was that
only with God at my side did I have meaning,
and another time I heard his invitation. I couldn´t
tell him no. "Fine! Do you want me
to be religious? But, please, without a veil!" (Naturally,
I was convinced that there didn´t exist any religious that
didn´t have a veil!
In November of 1999 I participated in
the activities of Youth for the Third Millennium in Italy.
I loved to go on missions. The girls
seemed nice and the guys were very cute. Everything
was peaceful and I didn´t have time to think about
my doubts, until one of the girls invited me to
a meeting to comment on the Bible and apply it
to life. It was here that something new crossed
my path. Before beginning the meeting she introduced me
to two girls that I had never seen: they were
two consecrated women in Regnum Christi.
Two what? The religious without veils! I was
afraid! But they seemed good and nice.
I continued my
normal life. I had my first two spiritual directions
and partcipated in everything they proposed to me. After
a few months, June 26, 2000, I incorporated into the
Regnum Christi Movement and a few months
after I went to Mexico for missions. Here I
got to know a lot more about the Movement and
I was happy to respond to whatever Christ asked of
me. I never spoke about my vocational restlessness with
anyone until after the Sixtieth Anniversary of the Foundation of
the Legionaries of Christ and Regnum Christi. After having experienced the family
environment, peace and joy, and, above all, having seen the
interminable lines of consecrated women, which made me think more
and more of the consecrated life, I spoke with one
of them. She invited me to participate in the
Holy Week Retreat in Rome. It was the most
difficult Good Friday of my life! I cried and
cried; it made me restless to see the consecrated women
always happy. Here I decided: this summer, I would
go to the candidacy program!
I felt happy. I had
taken the first step that I had rejected for years.
His will was now clear to me. The
religious without viels and a boyfriend like no one in
the whole world: really perfect! This was what God
wanted for me. It was Jesus and he was
waiting for my "Yes" for so long.
September 8, 2001 he
became my spouse!