|"We even name her baby and ask God to let him live and to let her see the truth because we know abortion not only kills the baby, but deeply wounds the mother’s soul."|
I am a Regnum Christi member and a client advocate
at The Pregnancy Counseling Center located in Mission Hills, California.
I work at the center once a week while my
children are in school. I was inspired to write about
this experience to help deter those who are considering abortion
and inspire others to pray and help the pro-life movement.
For more information on our center, go to http://www.pregnanthelp4u.org/.
To see one of my past testimonies, click here.
tell this was going to be a hard case. The
client is a pregnant single mother of a 2-year-old with
no family support. She is working full time and involved
in a relationship with a boyfriend who is convinced the
baby is not his, since he had a vasectomy a
few years before.
She is definitely not in a
good position to parent another child at this time.
she assured my co-worker and me that she does not
“believe in abortion.” She already had a baby when things
were just as hard.
“But.” she continues, “I cannot go
through it again.”
The Black Sheep
She truly has experienced great
hardship: her family did not help her at all and
has had no contact with her or their grandson. She
is considered the ‘black sheep’ of the family, and having
another out-of-wedlock baby would only confirm their perception.
|Logo of the Pregnancy Counseling Center located in Mission Hills, California|
and I acknowledge the hardship in her having and keeping
this baby. After looking at all her options, we ask
her to watch a video of women who selflessly and
lovingly have given their babies up for adoption. She agrees
to watch it, but at the end says that she
cannot choose to do that. If she carries the baby,
she cannot possibly give it up, she says. This sentiment
is common with our clients because they perceive abortion is
the lesser of two evils.
We notice she has a
religious affiliation and we pursue this strength. She says she
believes that abortion is morally wrong, but she does not
want to think beyond that. She is afraid she will
change her mind. We show her the possible impacts abortion
will have in her life: physical, emotional and psychological. She
agrees it is a woman’s natural tendency to nurture her
child and not hurt it.
Throughout the session, we send
prayers to Heaven asking for the “right words,” the appropriate
resources to give her for her particular situation, the right
intervention so she will choose life. We spend a long
time making sure she is aware of every aspect and
impact of her choice. We even show her the baby
with the help of an ultrasound machine. Tears flow down
her face as she looks at the baby on the
We have no more to offer. We wait in
hope, and we silently pray.
He Knocks at the Door
Though we know that, as client advocates, we need to
be open to God’s intervention, our clients also need to
be open to God’s grace. He respects our free will
and does not impose Himself on us. We know this
client has put up a “wall,” yet we also know
behind this wall, she does not want to abort her
baby. Will she let God in?
Her wall is too
strong, and her choice is not life.
We regretfully accept her
decision, and offer her help if she needs it after
the abortion. We make sure she knows that no matter
what she chooses to do, we will be there for
her. We say good bye, still hoping she has a
change of heart in the days to come.
a few days later, and she seems grateful for our
concern. She says her boyfriend wants her to have the
abortion because later, they will do it the “right way.”
They will get married. He will have the vasectomy “reversed”
and then they can have children. She is determined to
go ahead with the abortion the following Friday at a
facility in Beverly Hills. She will pay extra to be
fully asleep and unaware of what is happening.
home and pray daily for her and her baby. We
even name her baby and ask God to let him
live and to let her see the truth because we
know abortion not only kills the baby, but deeply wounds
the mother’s soul.
Friday comes, and she has the abortion.
We all mourn, for the baby and the mother.
in Need of Healing
Two weeks later she walks in our
clinic again. She is sobbing and in great distress. Her
boyfriend has left her, and she is deeply sorry for
She is broken, and we try to pick
up the pieces. We counsel her and provide her with
the appropriate referrals. She is Catholic and agrees to see
a priest the following day. Her journey towards healing begins.
We know we cannot do this work without God for
He is our strength, our hope, the source of our
love for these women and their babies. His love is
what drives us to want to help. We must be
patient and hold strong. We must be ready for the
next battle and look forward to the day when we
win the war.
For your information, below are links to some
of our referral resources:
Project Rachel www.hopeafterabortion.com
Partial List of Pro-Life Pregnancy Centers www.covenantnews.com/pregnant