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| P. Nathaniel Haslam, L.C. | |
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“May God who has begun this good work in
you bring it to completion.” These words during the
diaconate and priestly ordination touch an essential point in every
young man’s call to the priesthood: the personal action
of God in that person’s life. I did not
want to be a priest. I did not look for
it, and I did not embrace it with open
arms at first. For most of my life, I only
wanted to earn lots of money, find a great
girl, be famous, and live life to the full. Sounds
good does it not? I thought so too! For
me, the idea of being a priest was the exact
opposite of all these things. I can now say
as a priest, however, that the priesthood is the
greatest gift a man can receive in this life. The
happiness and fulfillment that I now have as a
priest in the Legionaries of Christ is much greater
than what I previously experienced: it is a whole other
level. In my vocation story, Jesus Christ acted directly
in my life. He showed his love for me
and for all men and women.
Looking for Success
I was
born on August 20, 1976, in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, to
James and Frances Haslam. I am the first of
three boys, and after me come Daniel and Nicholas. My
parents were both born in Pennsylvania. My father lived
in Philadelphia and grew up sharing the Protestant faith
of his parents. My mother lived in northern Pennsylvania.
Her parents were faithful Byzantine Catholics. My parents met and
then settled in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. As a nurse, my
mother learned to serve and assist the suffering through
her daily work at hospitals. My father worked for the
state government and was also in the military part
time for many years. My brothers and I were
born in Harrisburg and then baptized at St. Cyril and
Methodius Parish, a Byzantine Catholic parish in Berwick, Pennsylvania.
As a child, I liked sports,
competitions, and my studies. In everything, my focus and joy
was competition: to be the best, to win, and
to get a good reputation. As a young boy
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without many friends and an introverted personality, I sought to
get attention. I frequently played baseball and basketball, but
my real passion was to study. I saw this
as my main path to “get ahead” of the rest
and be a success. Science, math, and history were
my favorite subjects. I entered in a number of
science competitions, in which we had to prepare a professional
experiment and presentation of results. Several times, I won
first prize and had the opportunity to compete at
the state level.
Having “Everything” yet Having
Nothing I finished high school
second in my class in 1994, with many honors and
with prospects for a fabulous future. I studied electrical
engineering at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute in Troy, New York.
During these years, I fell into many bad habits,
and the successes were never enough to satisfy me. God,
however, helped me to avoid wandering too far, by
my involvement in a Catholic youth group on campus.
Upon graduating from college in 1997, I achieved my dream
of receiving the highest paying position among the graduating
class. Despite this, my life was very sad and
empty, because money and honors can never satisfy our heart.
I began working at Xerox in
Rochester, New York, at age 20. My goal was to
become vice president and get an Executive MBA by
the age of 25. From there, the plan was
to launch my own company at age 28. Finally at
age 40, my hope was to retire and enjoy
the “good life” with a family and
travel the world. God had other plans! I had everything
when I was at Xerox: money, a nice car
(I was in the process of buying a new BMW
5-series), prospects for a wonderful wife, good friends, a
luxury apartment; in a word, a bright and successful
future. Everything seemed secure, and it seemed just a
matter of time. I had all that society said was
success. In the midst of this lifestyle, I only
went to Mass on Sundays, and I went eight years
without going to the Sacrament of Confession. Looking back
at my life during this period, I truly believed
and lived as an atheist. In this confusion, I began
studying all the world’s religions looking for light.
Conversion and a Triple Call to the Priesthood
In the middle of this
situation, God took action. My conversion began one normal day.
As I woke up for work at 6:30 A.M.,
I immediately received a strong conviction that my life
was empty and in danger of complete failure. I was
living my life only for material things, satisfactions, and
pleasures. Life was a party and game for me.
In this moment, I realized the truth of life: the
message of Jesus Christ risen from the dead, as
well as the reality of eternal life, including the
Final Judgment when we must all give an accounting for
our actions. I did not understand this experience, but
things began to change little by little. I began
to read the Gospels each day, I prayed the Rosary,
and I finally made a truthful, sincere, and thorough
confession after eight years. This confession was a turning
point in my life. As soon as I received absolution,
I was filled with an overwhelming interior joy and
peace. From this moment forward, God freed me from
many of the bad habits I had acquired. What I
previously could not escape and avoid, I now lived
with the power of the risen Christ, who helped
me live a life of virtue, a life consistent with
his, whereby I could find my true happiness and
fulfillment. Finally, I had a personal encounter with Jesus
Christ during Eucharistic adoration. With this experience, Jesus Christ
began to be my best friend, and I sought only
to love and serve him.
After the
confession and experience in the Eucharist, which took place
in 1998, God moved quickly. “My plan” changed to
“his plan” for my life. I was approached on three
separate occasions and by three distinct persons about a
vocation to the priesthood. The first time, it occurred
while I was with a youth group in my
parish. One of the members asked if I had ever
thought of being a priest. I could not bear
the suggestion, and so I ran out before giving him
a further chance to speak. The second time, it
was during a retreat in Canada on Pentecost of 1998.
I met a woman in the food line who
asked me if I was a seminarian. When I told
her “no,” she told me, “You will be!” and
touched me with her finger to emphasize her prediction.
I could not believe that I could be a priest.
I did not want to be a priest, and
I certainly did not understand what it really meant
to be a priest. When at last a friend from
college asked me about the priesthood, I began thinking
that it might be God’s will for my life.
Over the course of many days and
weeks of searching and interior darkness, I prayed often and
also received good advice from a diocesan priest, Fr
Vincent McMahon, at Holy Spirit Parish. One day, I
asked the Lord how I could best serve him, since
the needs of the world and Church were so
great. His response was loud and clear: “The best
thing you can do is be a holy priest.” With
the conviction of the call being so clear, I
began to investigate where I should go. I had never
heard of the Legionaries of Christ or
Regnum
Christi. My first thought and desire was to be a
diocesan priest. I visited four dioceses, but I felt
that God did not want this. I also interviewed with
the Jesuits, the Dominicans, the Franciscans, and the Maryknoll
Missionaries. In each case, God helped me understand that
these were not the paths he was asking me.
It was a very difficult period in my vocation, because
I was finally open to the priesthood, but I
was unsure of the path forward.
In
the Hands of Jesus Christ After
this, a friend told me about the Legionaries of
Christ, saying, “They are a group that loves Jesus
Christ, have Eucharistic adoration, love Mary and the Church,
defend the pope, and help the poor (both those who
are spiritually poor and the materially poor).” When I
heard about their discernment retreats, I went to visit
the seminary in Cheshire, Connecticut. At first, I did not
want to enter, but the example of prayer, joy,
and desire to help the world that was dying for
lack of Christ made a big impact on me.
I could not believe my eyes as I saw
130 young people, all happy and dressed in cassocks. The
experience certainly made me think about the possibility of
entering one day.
Over the next
five months, I forgot my experience in Cheshire. I focused
on my work at Xerox and girls. Each time
a thought came to me about the priestly vocation, I
asked God for a definitive sign. God helped me
through several friends, who asked me periodically about entering
the seminary.
The definitive moment arrived
one night when a Legionary visited Auburn, New York, and
asked to meet me for dinner. He invited me
to the summer discernment program in Cheshire. After the
dinner, I went to the adoration chapel near my home
and put everything in Jesus’ hands, saying, “You gave
me everything, and you love me more than anyone
else. All my life I lived for myself, but now
it is time that I live for you and
your plan. I do not know what this priestly mission
entails, but I am going to follow your call.
Help me to be generous and to fulfill your
will for my life.” I immediately experienced a great joy
and peace. Never was I happier during my life
than in the moment I made the decision to follow
Christ with my whole life as a priest. During
the following two months, I left my job at
Xerox and went to Lourdes to thank Mary for my
priestly vocation. I realized in these months that true
success in life is to follow and be faithful to
the plan of God. I entered the Legionaries of
Christ with 45 other young men in June, 1999.
My Life in the Legion of Christ
My training in the Legionaries
has been 11 years full of graces. More than anything,
I learned that Jesus Christ is our best friend.
His love and his friendship invite us to be
generous, and to let him make our own hearts more
like his: good, meek, humble, tactful in speech and
thought, and ready to help those around us.
In these days when there are so many
attacks and negative attitudes towards priests, I want to
say that there is no other vocation or mission as
great and exalted as being a priest of Jesus
Christ. There is no greater gift. It is a life
full of passion, adventure, and urgency because so many
people need the gift that God has placed weak,
frail hands. My prayer to the Lord is, “Thank you,
Lord Jesus, for calling me to be your priest
for all eternity. Mary my mother, I place my
vocation in your hands and ask the grace for every
priest to be faithful until death in giving glory
to the Father and in the eternal salvation of souls.”
FR
NATHANIEL WALTER HASLAM was born in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania,
on August 20, 1976. He attended St. Margaret Mary elementary
school, Harrisburg High School, and Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, with
a major in electrical engineering and a minor in
mechanical engineering. He entered the novitiate of the Legionaries
of Christ on September 15, 1999, in Cheshire, Connecticut,
but spent his two years of novitiate in Dublin, Ireland
for two years. He studied philosophy in New York
and theology at the Pontifical Regina Apostolorum College in
Rome. In between, he helped with youth and retreat
work in the northeast United States. Since the summer of
2010, he has been the director of the International
Leadership Semester program, and he continues his studies in
theology and bioethics.
The vocation stories of the Legionaries of Christ who were
ordained in 2010 have been published in the book "From the Heart of Christ." |