“He is the deepest reason and only meaning for my decision.” A young woman shares about her discernment with the Consecrated Women of Regnum Christi.
The “summer course” is a seven-week period where young women continue their vocational discernment before beginning candidacy. This year, thirteen women from eight different countries have begun this course in Monterrey, Mexico, which will conclude on August 5.
Betti Dudda is one of these young women and we asked her about her impressions of this experience. Betti was born in Poland, but when she was four years old her family moved to Germany. After a year of discernment within the community of the Consecrated Women of Regnum Christi in Germany, she is about to embark on a new challenge in Monterrey, Mexico, where she begins this course.
How did you get to know the Consecrated Women of Regnum Christi?
That is a long story. God made use of several people who put me in contact with them, especially a mother I met during a camp who told me, “Betti, you have to meet the Consecrated Women, you would like them because they work a lot with children and young people!”. At the end of 2019 I came in contact with Bernadette Ballestrem and finally through her, with the other Consecrated Women in Germany.
Why did you decide to live and discern for a year in the Germany community of Consecrated Women?
Although I had been working very happily for a year and a half as a full-time teacher in a great school where I had everything I could wish for (friends, apartment, great trips…), in my heart there remained a longing for more, so I started to explore more in the depths of my heart. Especially in prayer I clearly felt the Lord’s invitation to follow him more closely. I began to ask myself about my vocation, which generated great resistance in me – should I give up everything? But at the same time there was a deep joy and the intuition that, if he puts this longing for ‘more’ in us, only he can fill it.
I was always moved by the passage: “Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens, I will come in and dine with him and he with me” (Revelation 3:20). I went through a discernment process during March and April 2020, when I spent a few weeks, albeit unplanned, in the home of the Consecrated Women in Ratingen, Germany.
How long have you been living with them? What has been the most beautiful or difficult experience so far?
Since September 2020. The most beautiful thing was probably being able to experience God’s love, to discover how he wanted to show me his love in prayer, the sacraments and especially through people within the community and without. I experience that unconditional love that he has for every human being and wants to reveal it to us. I am so grateful!
The most difficult experience – there were many things, but above all confronting the truth about myself; the recognition of the deceptions and lies I had lived and can still sometimes live by.
What role does God play in this time?
He is the deepest and only meaning and reason for this decision. I was able to live with him under one roof during my year, with God Himself, and I never cease to marvel and be grateful for this.
What do you personally expect from this time? Do you have a goal? What might happen after that?
It has been a year that exceeded all my expectations. It was completely different from what I had imagined and it is already over, but continues with the course in Mexico. My goal is to recognize more and more deeply God’s will for my life and to grow more and more in love, wherever the path of his Will leads me.